New York is an amazing city. There is so much to do and see. There is such diversity, and there is no doubt much kingdom work to be done for the glory of God. In fact the task is quite daunting if one really considers it. And while I’ve loved my first two weeks in the city, I have to admit that the whole experience can be overwhelming to say the least. It’s along those lines that I want to share a part of my journal from this past week:
“I’m not going to lie, at one point yesterday I was so tired that I already started wondering how I’m going to make it here. I just realized how ridiculous I am though for thinking (even if subconsciously) that I could make it on my own strength and ability. I am so inadequate, and I simply don’t have the strength to make it on my own in this city (or anywhere for that matter [the situation is simply amplified in the city unlike anywhere else]). Ultimately though, no one has the strength to make it on their own in this city. Everyone seeks to find a source of strength from something whether that be religion, a relationship with another person, coffee, alcohol, drugs, or some other method to cope. Unfortunately none of those methods work, at least not in the long haul. Religion disappoints, relationships break apart (unfortunately including most marriages), coffee brings addiction and eventual tolerance, alcohol and drugs often bring people to far worse places, so if these all fail in the end, how am I to not only cope with this city but to minister to the people all around. How foolish and arrogant have I been to get here and besides my quiet time in the morning, to completely ignore Paul’s exhortation to “pray without ceasing” and the Psalmist example “I hide your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” God must be the source of my strength and my portion forever. Psalm 73:23-26 says ‘Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.’”
Since that morning when God brought to my attention Psalm 73, I have found my strength in His Word through that verse and others. I’m finding that the exhausted and overwhelmed feeling that I’ve had lately is going to continue to come back in order that I might learn to rely on God more. God wants to bring us to a point of complete reliance on Him, and He will do whatever it takes to bring us to that point because He wants to be our strength.
I want to share one final Scripture that has been a huge encouragement to me: 1 Timothy 1:12, “I thank Him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service.” Paul thanked God for the provision of strength that he needed so desperately. God had appointed Paul to a specific service in the Kingdom, and He was faithful to give him the strength to carry that task out. God didn’t give Paul his marching orders and leave him out to dry. Instead because Paul continually sought God as he served Him, Paul received the fullness of strength in God that he needed to accomplish the task set before him.
The same thing is true for us. Everyone of us have been given a task for the Kingdom. In a very broad sense, we are to bring glory to God by sharing the gospel and making disciples, but each of us have our own specific calling that God will be faithful to enable us to accomplish if only we would be faithful in our seeking of Him. He did not give us tasks that can be accomplished by our own strength, if so who would get the glory? Rather God gave every Christian a task to big to handle on his own. So seek God, hide His word in your heart, and find your strength in Him.
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